I tell a lie, I drove my van half cut one hogmanay. I was late to the pub and it was pissing with rain and I figured the pub wasnt that far away, I would be ok to drive.
I got there ok and never had an accident but trying to park straight was nightmare, it took about 20 attempts just to pull up to the kerb in a straight line. I felt pretty ashamed for doing it and learned just how incapable of driving you are after alcohol, never ever again.

I should have realised I wasnt in a state to drive when I managed to have a shower whilst drinking a whisky and ice, and only notice when I was getting out,  that the large window in my tiny wee bathroom, looking out into the night and the multistory flats across the street - was wide open to the world! No shower curtain or nothing

Infact I should have really realised I wasnt in a fit state to drive after giving the street a spectacle of me drinking whisky and singing in the shower,  and I didnt even feel embarressed in the slightest...

"If you fuck with Dre, you're fuckin with Death Row"

I got me a flame thrower, those weeds havnt got a clue...

Only Fools out at the first hurdle, ouch!