Hyia

Ok, some of you know, for the others

I am jessica, 32 years old

Dad was a french atheist jew and mum is an english catholic who really is a protestant at heart, but her only god really is whisky.

I was so raised with a brother, by a dad who was extremely conservative and rigid, and maniaco depressive, and who had come from a rich family.
My mother is extremely liberal, always had musician friends, some world famous, she is an artist, a splendid paintor and does wonderful things with her hands, but she is way fucked up and comes from a poor family who has a long history in GB and who takes pride in saying to anyone that her family was this and that.

My brother was a fine boy until he drank too much and smoked too much pot with doing too much sports, became selfish and money mad. He only likes girls if they are blonde and tall.
I dislike my brother.

I actually dislike my entire family.

So, getting back to who i am, well, i carried weight that did not belong to me, rebelled early, did ballet, had an accident ( was never going to be a top dancer anyway), went to drama school, did casting calls and some work for a few years until i had what i can now call the beginning of a long long breakdown.

I think it was.

My foundations started to crumble. they were not solid enough.

I met stupid men, did stupid things.

I am now about ( very soon) to go and live elsewhere with my son, leaving our fate in the hands of justice.
I am still looking for work, although i don't think office work is for me.

I have two major ideas on the profesionnal front, but i'd rather not say anything as i am affraid.

I still write when i can, difficult to do so with a small child in a household where i have to hide to speak to people on the phone.

With so much shit going on, i have a hard time keeping my weight down too, so i am chubby right now, my bum could do with a good diet.

I look washed out, extremely tired and i was told by a friend that the person who looks after our building lot is worried for me. She apparently said i look desperate.

Shows you i kind of hit rock bottom lately.

So i hope i will be bouncing back fairly soon.

I do believe once you hit the bottom, you can only come back up ?