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buzzsaw
 Rep: 423 

Re: Mother's Day Blues

buzzsaw wrote:

I have to get something off my chest and I don't know where else to do it, so please endulge me...

My mom died a few years ago in January.  I don't remember the exact date or even the year because I really try not to think about it.  Most of the time I'm completely at peace with it, but I have a really hard time with certain times of the year.  Mother's Day is probably the worst because her birthday is right around the same time of year.  Christmas is tough too because she always really enjoyed the holidays.

I miss her so much.  It's hard not to call her when I travel and share stories with her.  She was sick for a long time, so she always wanted to live through her kids' experiences.  She listened and wanted to know everything.  My mom didn't work much due to her health.  She never had a great relationship with my dad.  Her kids were her life, and I know I felt a responsibility to share my experiences (good and bad) with her.  She probably knew me better than anybody ever has.  We were very much alike - always on one end or the other on a subject and rarely being in the middle.  She loved music (and even liked GnR minus some of the lyrics). 

It's rare that a day goes by when I don't think of her for at least a moment.  I love you mom.  I hope you know how much of an impact you made on me and my life.  I wouldn't be where I am without you.  I hope you're enjoying being able to do things that you couldn't do in this life.  I'll see you soon (but hopefully not too soon).

-D-
 Rep: 231 

Re: Mother's Day Blues

-D- wrote:

Thanks for sharing buzz. So sorry and heartbreaking to read this.

my condolences.

monkeychow
 Rep: 641 

Re: Mother's Day Blues

monkeychow wrote:

Feel for you as well Buzz.

The holidays are always hardest when you're missing someone like that.

Hang in there smile

Smoking Guns
 Rep: 329 

Re: Mother's Day Blues

Smoking Guns wrote:

Buzz, very sad about your Mom. Sounds like she was an amazing woman. Nice read and I feel for you.

buzzsaw
 Rep: 423 

Re: Mother's Day Blues

buzzsaw wrote:

Thanks - I appreciate it.

monkeychow
 Rep: 641 

Re: Mother's Day Blues

monkeychow wrote:

Not sure if this is crap advice.

But I know for me one thing i found helps a little after my father dying is inventing new traditions and rituals.

You know like all our old family traditions are shot to hell - cos like stuff like christmas dinner or whatever - it's always feels sort of missing something and you can't help thinking "dad would sit there" or "once we would have all done X" or whatever.

I've combatted this feeling partially by inventing new things. So like now I take my niece out somewhere at christmas...or things like that...honour what u used to do...but also try and make a forward looking idea too so it's not all about what's been lost.

Anyway, nothing really cures grief, or could ever replace your mom obviously, I just know for me focusing on my other family relationships and coming up with new ways to enjoy each other's company could be beneficial...so I'd look into developing rituals that help around times u know will be tough (like mothers day) - like make it the weekend you go away with the wife, or something. I dunno i might be talking shit...but thought i'd mention it just in case it's worth anything. smile

-Jack-
 Rep: 37 

Re: Mother's Day Blues

-Jack- wrote:

Thank you for sharing with us.

RussTCB
 Rep: 633 

Re: Mother's Day Blues

RussTCB wrote:

removed

Neemo
 Rep: 483 

Re: Mother's Day Blues

Neemo wrote:

my condolences buzz, russ and anyone else who has lost someone near and dear to their heart

buzzsaw
 Rep: 423 

Re: Mother's Day Blues

buzzsaw wrote:

I usually keep things like that inside, but I just felt the need to vent, and not somewhere too public.  That's what makes this place great...it's not the GnR stuff; it's the fact that someone can come here and express feelings on things way more important than GnR and people are there for each other.  I've seen it happen time and time again with friends, family, or even pets dying.  THAT is what makes this place special.

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