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Nine tracks that are supposedly slated for inclusion on Guns N' Roses long-awaited Chinese Democracy album have hit the web.

Since we here at the National Post don't encourage the illegal downloading of music, what instead follows is a track-by-track review of what should now arrive very, very soon (that's right, Dr.Pepper, get ready to shell out). It should be mentioned that since this is based on the most recent leaked version, the lineup - or titles - of songs could change. The album was gruelingly concocted over the past 14 years by Axl Rose and a rotating lineup of session musicians. And the result of all that work?

The 'album' opens with the toe-tapping groove of Better, but the disjointed and overwrought production quickly leads the song into some pretty murky territory. 

The title track, Chinese Democracy follows, and with a classic four-chord structure, it is one of the strongest songs on the album. The song is probably about the political situation in China, particularly since it includes a mention of Falun Gong, but with Axl's coded lyrical style it's hard to tell for sure: There are a lot of references to 'it' and 'them' that avoid elaboration.

The album continues solidly with I.R.S., which definitely wins the catchy chorus award. In it, Axl plays the spurned lover looking for his pound of flesh, but he could just as easily relating his experience recording this album: 'Feelin' like I'm living inside of this song/Feelin' like I'm just too tired to care/Feelin' like I done more than my share/Could've been the way that I carried on/Like a broken record for so long.'

Madagascar is the November Rain of Chinese Democracy. Its haunting and repetitive keyboard line oddly recalls Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise and Axl makes liberal use of horns and strings over an industrial backdrop. It's a funny combination, but actually it works pretty well. 

Riyadh & The Bedouins is almost a return to Appetite for Destruction form. Just not as good. 

This I Love betrays Axl's fascination on the record with trip-hop beats, which here are entirely out of place when set against tinny, multi-tracked guitars and a riff that briefly recalls Smashing Pumpkins' Today. Has Axl been in a coma since 1997?

If the World (Would End Today) is where the album really falls off. With its porno groove, cheesy synths and misguided marriage of flamenco guitar and metal riffs, it manages in one song to encapsulate the entire contents of a music store's 99-cent remainder bin.

The Blues has Axl channeling Queen and Elton John just like of old, but sounds like it was cobbled together from a whole bunch of fragmentary ideas. On the upside, the guitar sounds like Slash sneaked back into the studio without Axl noticing.

On There Was a Time, a trip-hop opening once again falls into cacophony of piano, strings, wah-afflicted guitar solos and endless drum fills. It doesn't sound especially structured - more like an end-of-record jam. It's too cluttered. Original Guns records sounded like every note was intentional, and judging by the cost and time it took to make this record, that was certainly Axl's intention here. Unfortunately the result does not reflect that. 

In general, the album feels like an unfocused patchwork of anachronistic musical styles. With all the hype and expectation built up over 14 years, it was not unreasonable to expect a masterpiece, and while there are certainly some moments on this alleged record that stand up to some of Axl's earlier output, the result is primarily a collection of incoherent false starts. Of course, the album isn't out yet, and the final product could very well be an improvement on what has been leaked so far. So for now, we'll give poor Axl the benefit of the doubt - especially since we don't want to scare him back into his rabbit hole.

I know I said this in an earlier post, but I think it's Prostitute for two reasons:  the first, and most obvious, is that Axl *appears* to say the word "prostitute" at the 3:53 mark.

The second reason is that, if there already is a song "prostitute," it seems odd to use that word in the lyrics of another song on the album (just as it would have been odd for the words "Mr. Brownstone" to show up in the lyrics of another AFD track), which again, leads me to believe that "Song #2" is "Prostitute."

Unless, of course, "Song #2" will be on a different album than "Prostitute," which negates everything I just tried to say.   

His time with The Replacements and his solo stuff, unfortunately, aren't good indicators of what's shown up on the GnR tracks...

You're right about that.  Slash, and the AFD sound, are things of the past.  Me, I'm fine with it.  I think the new materials sounds both urgent and relevant, which is really no easy task for someone in Axl's position.  I'm more anxious than ever to buy this album...