I'd personally go with the workprint, which, unfortunately, has never been officially released. While it has the obvious sore spots, it also has generally has more narrative coherence than the theatrical cut. If I had the time and inclination, I'd look into all cuts very carefully and edit out a version which wouldn't cause as much aversion as any of three do in varying amounts.

For instance, the mis en scene in the asylum escape is as typically low-brow, cheap-shock Zombie as Michael's childhood domestic life early into the film. The replacement sequence, while sanitized, makes less sense overall, which inevitably places it under a political, rather than artistic decision. And political decisions more often than not damage the whole of the film, as the integrity of the body of work isn't an issue at this point.

Then again, if you read the original script, you'll notice many things that have been jettisoned even prior to the workprint. However, the sequences generally maintain the same rhythm and events all the way from the script to the theatrical/unrated cut, only they're, in lack of a better word, neutered. This was the main problem with the production; Zombie was asked to deliver his own take on the Carpenter film, which he did (see: original script). After that, fanboy reactions caused studio executives to become antsy, and while not addressintg any thematic issues as opposed to the 1978 film, they just kept asking Zombie to backpedal the more superficial points in the narrative, including explicit violence and profanity (even though both remain in considerable quantities in all filmed versions).

Zombie got a lot of things wrong very early into the game; mainly fleshing up the character of Michael up to the point when The Shape got turned into a puffy, goose-stepping parody of himself. While Tyler Mane had some good moves to himself, he felt the way Michael in Halloween 4 looked. At the same time, any and all 'human' characters lack the human element within them; there's simply not much to relate to other than Michael himself, because even decent and seasoned shlock movie vets like Malcolm McDowell, Brad Dourif and Ken Foree are gleefully wasted by allowing them to churn any scenery remaining from the huffing and puffing has-been of a Fear Itself.

Shame, really.

Axl Rose got 'carried away'
Sources cite the reason for rock star's erratic behaviour on spontaneous abductions

Axl Rose hasn't exactly been forthcoming on the promotion of his 15-year magnum opus, Chinese Democracy. Interscope CEO Jimmy Iovine tells the reason why.

'Quite simply, Axl got carried away,' the label head sums up, 'He attended a meeting with ourselves and the BestBuy marketing department, but in the middle of all that, a group of men in black walked into the room, shouldered him, and left. We haven't seen Axl since then.'

While such antics may seem unlikely to happen in everyday life, people involved in the production of the album concur to Iovine's statement.

'When Axl saw Buckethead in a chicken coop, watching porno, he got really pissed,' remembers Tom Zutaut, an A&R man who originally signed Guns N' Roses to Geffen Records in 1986 and came back to work on Chinese Democracy in 2001. 'I was afraid he'd blow a gasket,' admits Zutaut. 'But then, out of nowhere, an emu strolled into the studio and carried him away.'

Similar situations occurred when the reclusive singer came to hear various mixes of the multitude of songs the revamped GNR lineup had been laboriously working on.

'Axl'd come into the studio, listen to a few tracks and - poof! The next minute I see him, he's on horseback, trailblazing to the sunset,' recalls the album's one-time producer Sean Beavan, famed from his work with goth shocker Marilyn Manson. 'It'd sometimes be weeks on end until we'd hear from him again.'

One person who - according to eye-witness reports - repeatedly got Axl carried away was none other than the band's former lead guitarist, Slash. 'I did that a lot,' the top-hatted axslinger remarks with a smile. 'Getting Axl repeatedly carried away just before showtime on the [Use Your Illusion] tour was ridiculously fun. There ought to be a law against it.'

When noted of venue curfews and overtime fees, Slash's smile dies a little. 'Oh, come on! It's just Rock n' Roll!' The guitarist regains his composure and adds, somewhat sheepishly, 'Everybody did that, you know. Even the roadies.'

A particularly troublesome place for Axl was apparently the Sedona Desert in Phoenix, Arizona. 'Axl got carried away by his spiritual advisor,' notes a source close to the band. 'I don't know how she did that. Axl's a pretty sturdy guy.'

Former GNR manager Merck Mercuriadis tells us he's been carried away with singer on a few occassions. 'It was really a whole lot of fun, I have to admit.' When inquired, Mercuriadis keeps the details of Rose's destinations to himself. 'I still get postcards from far away places,' he notes, smiling.

By presstime, calls to Rose's representatives were left unresponded. 'Typical Axl,' remarks a personal friend of the GNR frontman. 'He's got everybody carried away again.'

If by tweeting you refer to mash-ups and abbreviations, in this case I have more of a problem with it spilling over to the fundamental plot elements of cohesive storytelling than the corrosive effect it generally tends to have on the English language. In that sense, the Age 2 throwaway is a fitting one.

Based on the plot premise, the trailer and other promotional material, Zombie's putting The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th and Halloween all in the same blender, digging up the masked psycho-killer archetype of Leatherface, which proceeds to mingle with his dead mother in a Jason Voorhees fashion, while all this is wrapped around the non-persona of Michael Myers.

That's the whole point as to how greatly he undervalues and mistakes the comparative merits of the Halloween franchise. It's not as simple as whether or not Michael runs; it's about the fact that you should be dealing with the evil incarnate, a boy who was dealt a bad hand back in the day (in Carpenter's original, no tangible psychological profile is even established, let alone the environmental factors explored). 

Building the monster to a more varying degree by masquerading him as a hobo or whatnot is not a bad turn per se, depending how it'd be handled. But when you start explaining away what makes him tick behind the mask, you're setting yourself for an uphill battle, not in terms of fanboys with nothing better to do than to moan and complain, but with the principle effect the character has on the audiences.

In a way, Myers has always been the inverted Deus ex Machina; a jack-in-a-box boogeyman ready to jump out at any minute the suspense needs to be kicked up. A complete blank with no discernable personality, he exists and is defined via his surroundings and the single-minded bloodlust occurring therein. 

Of course, he was a product of his time. In the 70's, the American culture had an opening for youth gone off the handle; take a look at The Exorcist and try figuring out any other reason for Regan's possession than the McGuffin of being possessed by the Devil himself. The concept is played out with a straight face in order to comment on fatherless family-units in the wake of Vietnam and the plights of Catholic priests trying to pass consolation to those left behind, while even they themselves have a problem figuring out what caused the world they knew get so lost in the mist.

In the early 90's, we were alternatively treated with sexier and more relatable horror icons, as is evidenced in Bram Stoker's (or rather, Coppola's) Dracula and Silence of the Lambs. Evil was no longer such for the sake of it, but rather, was vested with a sense of aristocracy, a Napoleon imprisoned to a mental asylum or secluded to a Carpathian chateau, a charismatic conqueror from the old days, carefully readying himself to return to our world as the harbinger of an apocalypse, setting the course towards a new world order.

This is, of course, the king in the mountain myth, which considers a fallen hero, now unkempt and asleep, hiding deep in a mountain cavern or a supernatural dwelling place. Whenever discovered, he traditionally asks whether the ravens still circle the mountaintop. If the answer is affirmative, he casts out his discoverer in saying, 'Begone! My time is yet to come!' The king would only surface in the wake of a deadly peril or some other monumental shift in the history of his people.

Tolkien's title of choice for the closing book of the LOTR trilogy was, therefore, no coincidence. The amusing thing is that the horror film culture has opted to beef up their follies by labeling them with Messianic qualities, with the intention to have them viewed as Antichrists, although not without the appealing and redeeming qualities nor without method to their madness.

Obviously, this creates more than a few paradoxes as opposed to the traditional evil incarnate mannerism of the original Halloween and the era of cinematic psycho-killers it represents. If Zombie would really have the guts, I'd have him kill Myers in the opening sequence and leave everyone wonder why people continue to turn up dead in similar manners. That I consider to be a more accurate portrayal of both the Antichrist and the Evil incarnate; something which cannot be pointed squarely into a troubled individual, but what would lurk in the heart of every man, in the evil that they do,

I'm the 'Happy to carry the coffin with Axl' -category.

Not seeing any real future to GNR. Preparing for the final blow and, simultaneously pleased by all (if any) positive outcomes in the GNR world (press, releases, shows), but does not expect anything major to happen in the near-future.

Is waiting for the organization to be disbanded and the vaults opened for Universal to release further, unauthorized and unfinished mixes of the remaining songs. Is looking forward to Axl converting GNR into a nostalgia band of himself instead of AFD, becoming a sort of series of appearances with Izzy, Duff, Baz, etc. Different guys from different eras of Axl's career, joining him onstage to co-memorize. Here's to This I Love with Harp Bitch!