Self Esteem

James

As far as perceiving how people are online, self esteem issues get tossed on the side. Online, people can be how they want to be without any limits or possible judgment by other people. Like Pasnow said, he has trouble talking in a crowd of ten, but I bet he could talk your head off in a chat room filled with a hundred people.

Its one of the reasons people get so tangled up in the online world. You can be how you really feel. There was actually a mainstream news article recently about how people are giving up in droves on personal relationships, friendships,etc. over their online world. This is an epidemic.

Self esteem issues do come out of some people online, the "internet tough guys" the perfect example of that. Other examples would be men who act like women or trolls.

Dreamline

That's interesting and probably mostly true, but I find I'm actually the opposite online. In real life, I'm usually relaxed and mostly confident (depends alot on the group and maybe moreso on the atmosphere), but online I tend to be very self-conscious about what I say. Sometimes I'll re-write a post 2 or 3 times before I actually commit to submitting it and even then I'll often go back and change or add something.

All I can figure is that it's because it's in print, posted on a message board, and more long lasting than words in a conversation. I guess I feel that words on a message board are more susceptible to being analyzed and torn apart too.

PaSnow

^^ I can see what you mean DL, it stays there in writing. Also people can pick your words apart while your gone, so you could make a post, go away for a few hours, come back & it's 3 pages ripping & misinterpreting what you said. Yeah, I rewrite posts sometimes too:D

James, yeah it is different online, I feel it that way too. Even just emailing people. I've been to websites with it's share of "internet tough guys" too (Craigslist Rants & raves).

DTJ, I didn't eat a whole pizza, just a few slices and myb 2 beers. Yeah, I had to wait a while to have the beers, it doesn't taste quite right after working out. They were Heineken Lights though, so it fit into my diet;)

Neemo

my self esteem used to be pretty low....but now i just give everyone a big fuckyou and if they dont like me then they can fuck off.....but i am worriede about the elf esteem my daughters will have...cuz ya know young girls and their low self esteem and the stuff they do to remedy it kinda thing...but i do my best to make my daughter talk to people instead of being shy...its hard though cuz thats not my nature to be that way hmm

Neemo

about asking out peopel for dates and stuff...i hated that too....and i'm glad im out of that game

when i just met my wife and wanted to ask her out i just tried to be myself and not overly impress....kinda like this is me and how i am love it or leave it... and i stuck with that attitude since i was in college

luckylittlelady

Some interesting posts, thanks for sharing everyone.

I'm glad I'm not a fella, there's no way I could ever ask anybody out unless I made it out to be a joke or something. But then I'd put so much emphasis on it being a joke, they'd think I really was joking.

I also think before I post (most of the time). It's too easy to pick a post apart and be taken the wrong way.

monkeychow

My self-esteem just hit an all time low. But i'm also pissed off at the state of the world - so i hope you my on-line GNR buddies will tollerate a bit of a rant!

ISSUE #1:

i've been single now for years and years. And its basicly cos girls like jerks and i'm not enough of a fuckhead (even though i am quite a bit of one! haha!). Its all in the confidence they tell me.

Anyway I thought i was dealing ok with that recently. But its kinda unnatural not to be with someone at least occasionally!! So i'm pissed about it!! LOL

ISSUE #2:

Now you'll laugh at me cos this is related to Facebook.

(yes...i used to think it was (a) shit and (b) a myspace rip off - but I recenly joined cos i had a lot of family on there and they were suggesting its better than email for keeping in touch easily).

Anyways...so i'm on Facebook and adding my friends and so forth. So I add an ex-girlfriend who still chats to me occasionaly on MSN etc. She approves the add no problem. Then facebook asks how we know each other - so i choose the option "we dated". Anyway it gives her the option to approve that as accurate - and then she doesn't!!

So I can only assume this is because she is ASHAMED of the fact that she used to date me. Like i'm so disgraceful to her that she has to hide my past existance from her friends!!

Now i know i should get a life and so on. I mean its face book. Who the fuck cares right? I mean i'm 30 not 11 i shouldn't even be using the thing. And its an ex anyway. But for some reason i'm feeling emotional today and that shit has pissed me off big time.

So i tell 2 of my band mates at dinner tonight (a guy and a girl) about it joking round for conversation and they go like "umm..well maybe you wern't dating". So i explain that i was taking her out on dates - like to see plays at the theatre and shit like that, and that we were fucking and they're like "well thats not necessarily dating". And started up about how i was old fashioned.

So this has pissed me off all the more. Like i could deal with her being an ashamed of me bitch. But what kinda sick world do we live in - where you can exclusively see a person for months on end - several times a week - going out to dinner, restraunts, plays, movies, and having a sexual relationship as well and its NOT dating?

ISSUE #3:

Got fired from work last week sad

Enough said about that!

ISSUE #4:

A friend's girlfriend recently told me flat out (unsolicited) that my facial hair i've grown in the last few weeks "Won't help you get any more attractive to women" - the exact words escape me. Now you had to be there cos it really wasn't a joke and I can accept that many girls dont dig facial hair - thats not the problem - like the inflection if you were there was more like "cos your so fucking ugly even without the hair" and thats the bit that pissed me off.

I mean i could respect her for telling it true rather than hiding it i guess. But at the same time i was also kinda thinking - like who comes up and says that unsolicited? Like i wasn't talking about dating or girls or shit - she just walks in the room and starts telling me i'm uglier 'than normal'.

WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS!!

Anyways...thanks for listening to a BS rant!!! Figured i'd post it here rather than waste a new thread with my crap!

luckylittlelady

monkeychow wrote:

. But what kinda sick world do we live in - where you can exclusively see a person for months on end - several times a week - going out to dinner, restraunts, plays, movies, and having a sexual relationship as well and its NOT dating?

Sure sounds like dating to me hmm Facebook or not, that would have pissed me off too.

And your friend's G/F sounds like a cow. Even if she was just trying to be honest, she only had to say that she thought you looked better without it. It's easy enough to do without implying that someone might be ugly.

DoubleTalkingJive

Monkeychow first think I have learned in my 37 years, don't sweat the small stuff. People saying to you that they don't like your facial hair and worse insinuating that it really doesn't matter if you have facial hair or not, which I didn't take from the comment you posted, I took more she didn't like the hair period, still and all have that fuck em attitude. You do what you feel comfortable with and if more then one person tell you the facial hair isn't working for ya, then maybe head your friends advice and shave it, nothing wrong with that, I have changed my look or asked advice about my look plenty of time based on my friends opinions.

You are right about most girls liking assholes but let me tell you, don't turn into one, I assure you, you will find mrs right, it'll happen, I know that doesn't make you feel better but it will and it'll happen when you least expect it, I know this is a bit cliche' but it's true. I have a good friend at work that continuesly get's blown off for years now. I feel bad for him, he's a nice, good looking guy and yet, every chick he meets, they date and then he gets blown off. I have tried to get into his head to tell me what he does that makes these chicks not stay interested but he seems to be doing all the right things. I don't get it but he has a good attitude and just keeps on trucking. I guess for some it's harder then others.

I am sorry about your job sad

James

I think its hilarious when women latch on to these assholes. I remember telling the story at the "other" site about that chick who chose this dude over me. He beat the shit out of her all the time, turned her into a crack whore(literally), and they were living in his car. Now she's in jail somewhere in Texas. Good times. Karma always bites these bitches on the ass.

Not to say I am a saint or anything. I once kicked a woman out of my car out in the middle of nowhere because she kept running her mouth. Maybe that was too asshole-ish for her. Probably would have preferred a beating or a good old fashioned stalking. I don't play those lame 'bad boy' games.

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